The Facts of Life...

I've been writing a lot lately about big events I've recently attended. The "Monster" part of the blog has been well represented, but the "Dad" part has been kind of put on the back burner. Well, it's time to do a bit of what I believe is called "Mommy Blogging" (even though I'm a Dad).

I'm certainly not looking forward to the day(s) when it becomes time to have "The Talk" with my kids. Everyone needs to learn the facts of life at some point--whether they are taught them by parents or they pick them up on their own. I suppose that parents face a big decision as their kids start to get close to puberty--do we sit the kid down and explain things to him/her, or do we bury our heads in the sand and pretend nothing is happening and hope that everything works out fine? Obviously the former is the preferred way to go, but because of how difficult and uncomfortable that conversation can be I have a feeling that more parents opt (whether consciously of not) for the latter option. I'm hoping that we do it right. Of course what's "right" is a very subjective thing and, despite all the hundreds of parenting books that are out there, I don't think there's a real true and reliable solution that works for everyone. Every family is different. Every individual is different. And, every family's and individual's personal environment is different and unique. That's a lot to think about...

Anyway, this all seems like a pretty serious and heavy discussion, doesn't it? Well, luckily for me, I have two things working in my favor at the moment. First, my kids are only five and two--so I'm hoping that the big conversations will not be necessary for quite some time. Not only that, but my two kids are both girls. This means that I'm hoping the bulk of these talks will fall under The Wife's jurisdiction. (Don't tell her I said that though)

So why do I bring up such a touchy and prickly topic when I really shouldn't have to worry about dealing with it for a while? Well at dinner tonight The Little Monster (my elder daughter) asked a question about our family that may have been the first tentative into an area that will eventually bring up the topic of "The Birds and the Bees". We were all eating and talking about how tomorrow will be our ninth anniversary. Obviously The Little Monster wasn't even a twinkle in our eyes back in 2002. She seemed to be trying to grasp the idea of something (like a wedding) that had happened so long ago. That was when she asked The Wife if she had "borned" me like she had "borned" her and her little sister. We were slightly taken aback and also pretty amused by the question. When we asked her why she asked it she gave a pretty reasonable answer. She figured that since mothers give birth to children that become part of a family, and that everyone is "borned" to a mother--so why couldn't I have been "borned" by my wife?

After The Wife and I had a good chuckle at the notion (and of course The Little Monster didn't really get why it was so funny a question to us) we started to explain how families come together. I was telling her that we actually met as adults before getting married and then having her and her sister. Then I had to mention that her grandparents had all started their own families the same way before giving birth to us. She seemed to be grasping the idea to some extent, and the conversation was veering dangerously close to a Facts of Life discussion (which The Wife took some pleasure in jokingly prodding me into). Then The Little Monster thankfully diffused the whole situation and made me very proud of her at the same time.

As I told her that her mother's parents had met, got married and had children she listened. Then, as I told her that my parents did the same thing she interrupted me in a priceless way. I said "My Mom and Dad met as adults, got married, had me, and..." (I was about to say that they also had my eight siblings) when she broke in with "I know, I know Daddy--you had Matchboxes and watched Godzilla movies and that's how you ended up doing monster blogging." Wow! She had been paying attention! She could have asked just exactly how all these babies came to be "Borned" (making for an uncomfortable moment for us), but instead she went (semi-) off topic to make a very astute observation about my past!

I've written about The Little Monster making me proud a couple times before (in A Proud Moment for Monster Dad and Yet Another Proud Moment) and this one ranks right up there with them!

Inside The Mind of a Monster Dad

A Penny For Your Thoughts...

Just thought I'd give you a little inside view about how my mind can sometimes work. Random things will manage to get stuck my head for no apparent reason (see Unemployed Munchkins for an example), and then they just take off on some haphazard journey through my brain. They cause me to ponder all manner of odd things. I'm sure everyone has experience with this kind of phenomenon, but figured it was worth relating my latest episode of random thought processing.

Yesterday I was going through the drive-thru of our local McDonald's. I had just taken my two year old daughter to get some blood work done. It was a routine thing (a lead test), but it was still pretty harrowing putting her through the experience. She was a trooper, but I felt so bad for her while I was holding her down as they stuck a needle in her little arm. She must have been wondering what the hell I was putting her through, and maybe wondering if I truly was a "Monster" of a dad. Anyway, after that experience I figured it was as good a time as any to indulge in a little McDonald's breakfast treat for us on the way home. So I ordered a couple items off the Dollar Menu (big spender!). My Sausage Biscuit and Sausage McMuffin came to a grand total of $2.14. I still haven't gotten used to the fact that Massachusetts has increased its sales tax from 5% to 6.25%. It used to be so easy to figure out that you had to pay five cents on every dollar. Now you have to add 6.25 cents to every dollar (a little tougher to do automatically in your head). I know it's only a few pennies, but I swear that some places take advantage of the fact that it's not a whole number and round the total up a little more than they should. Paranoid? Maybe. But I digress (again). Back to the random topic at hand...

After placing my order I heard "That will be $2.14 at the first window" from the speaker, and wondered if I might have the exact change in my wallet. Sure enough, I found a dime and a bunch of pennies in the change section amongst the other coins. I pulled out four pennies to go along with the dime and two singles. Then I had a few moments to wait because the line at the drive-thru was pretty long. I decided to check out the dates on the pennies while waiting. Big mistake! Instead of simply holding them and giving them to the cashier without incident (as most people would do) I just had to look at the dates on the pennies and ponder all kinds of things about them. Strange how four little pennies and a minute or two in a drive-thru waiting for food can give a person so much food for thought. Here's what I learned in those couple minutes...

The first penny was from 1967. It seemed strange to think that one of the coins in the small pile of change I held in my hand was older than me. Because I wasn't around in 1967 I didn't have to wonder what was going on in my life when that penny was minted. But I did try to ponder just how much that penny's little Abe Lincoln has seen over the past forty-four years. How many places had it traveled (has it been circulating in Massachusetts most of that time, or has it been through more states in its time than I have in mine?)? How many hands has it passed through?How many purchases had it been a part of (and what those purchases might have been)? Is it possible that I, or someone I know, have had this very same penny at some time in the past? How many people who have spent this penny have since died? How many pennies end up in a penny jar and never get the chance to do all the traveling that (I assume) this one has in its time? Could this very penny have spent a couple decades forgotten in a piggy bank before returning to the world of retail? It certainly seemed pretty well-worn, so I can only imagine it's seen quite a bit in its time.

The second penny was from 1980. This was right in the middle of my Monster Kid salad days. I kind of tend to relate the golden age of the show Creature Double Feature with my own high point of childhood. The show started it's familiar two-movies-on-a-Saturday-afternoon format in September of 1975 and ran straight through the early 1980s. They started messing with the format around 1983 (going from double-features to single ones and then back again, dropping the show altogether for short periods, changing the starting time...), and it finally petered out in 1985. In 1980 I would have been ten or eleven years old. There's no doubt that I was watching and being terrified by some of my favorite old horror and sci-fi movies at that age (many for the first time). In three years I'd enter high school and my priorities would start to change. But in 1980, I was deeply entrenched in my Monster Kid heyday. I wondered what the chances were that I may have owned this very penny around that time. Could this penny have been change for me in the early 80s when I bought a package of Twinkies at the little mom-and-pop convenience store down the hill from my house? Could I have dropped it in a gumball machine or used it to pay for a piece of penny candy (when there was still such a thing as penny candy)? Could it have helped pay for a string of bowling on one of the trips to the bowling alley my nephew and I would enjoy on Saturdays? (This was back in the days when kids could be dropped off at a bowling alley and left unaccompanied for a couple hours without fear of horrible things happening.) That penny has been making the rounds since those more "innocent" days and is still out there in this modern age of hyper-fear that prevents kids from having the "unstructured playtime" that made my childhood so magical. Were will that penny be in another 20 years, and what will that world look like?

The final two pennies were from 1992 and 1993 respectively. Suddenly we are in the distant future (as far as the 1967 and 1980 pennies would be concerned). I was an adult at that time. Not only had I graduated from high school five or six years earlier, I had even entered and left the Army and been back home for a couple years. The early nineties were a time of transition for me as I tried to figure out my place in the world and how I fit into it. While there weren't any pennies from the 2000s in my McDonald's pile to bring us up to date, I'd say that I'm still in a similar place now as I was in 1992-93. I'm getting older and older (am now married, own a house, have two beautiful and challenging daughters) but in many ways I still feel like that little Monster Kid who'd drop everything to sit in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon to watch a couple old black-and-white monster movies on Creature Double Feature.

That's a lot of pondering over four measly pennies that just happened to be sitting my wallet yesterday morning. Suddenly it was 2011 again and my turn to drive up to the window and pay for my order. I made another check in my wallet and found four more pennies (which I made a point of NOT checking the dates of). I used them to pay for my breakfast and held onto the original four just long enough to write this blog before releasing them back into circulation for more monetary adventures in the great big world...

For more on my shaky relationship with the concept of Time, see Monster Dad vs. Time.

Even Little Monsters Grow Up

Today I woke up to a fresh blanket of snow on the ground. A couple months ago that would have been fine. It was only about 2 or 3 inches and will probably melt very quickly. The problem is that Spring started a couple weeks ago. It is now April. The Red Sox play their season opener today. There simply should NOT be any more snow. I guess it's nature's way of trying to hold onto something that's really gone.

Which brings me to the point of this blog. Sometimes we can get comfortable with something and continue to do it long after the time that we should have given it up. I started this blog as a way to document my relationship with my oldest daughter. I always loved old monster/horror/science fiction movies as a kid (still do for that matter) and wanted to expose her to the kind of stuff I loved to see if she might have an interest in it too. She probably wouldn't have discovered Godzilla, Gamera and Ultraman on her own at her young age. I didn't want to force anything on her, but figured it wouldn't hurt to show her this kind of stuff and see what she thought of it. It was very exciting to see her enjoying all those old movies and shows--kind of like re-living a little piece of my own past. It was a way of seeing some of the magic of my youth through her young eyes. All the time I made sure that I only gave her the opportunity to see all this stuff. I didn't want to force it onto her. I never tried to prevent her from finding out about princesses and fairies. I certainly didn't want her going to school and becoming an out-of-touch "freak" when she met all the "normal" children who would become her peers. The monster movies were always my own personal taste, and I was very glad that she found a similar interest in them. She has turned out to have a very well-rounded set of interests, in my opinion at least. In addition to loving monster movies, the old Spiderman cartoon from the 60s, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Ultraman and all the other stuff I introduced her to she is also into Zhu-Zhu Pets, Barbie, Disney Princesses, fairies, unicorns and all the rest of the stuff one would expect a five year old girl to be interested in.

This morning I discovered that it might be time to let a piece of our relationship go. She is now about five months into her fifth year and is in preschool. As she grows up her tastes change, which is only natural. She now picks out her own clothes and dresses herself. She is learning about "cool" things from her classmates and having play dates. My Little Monster is growing up and becoming a "Big Girl". As hard as that might be to accept, I really don't have much of a choice in the matter.

This morning, as the Spring snowfall was covering the ground and coating the tree branches, my Little Monster woke up as usual and demanded "a snack and a show". When I found out that school had been cancelled because of the storm I proposed that we should hunker down and snuggle up to a good Godzilla movie (we haven't watched any in a couple months as she's been going through a big Disney movie phase). ...And that was when she broke my heart. That may be a bit of a dramatic way of putting it, but suffice to say it was a tough morning for Monster Dad.

Not only did my "baby" say that she would prefer to watch "Finding Nemo" or a Barbie video over watching a Godzilla movie with me, she actually sat me down and--with a great amount of sensitivity for a five-year-old--told me that she no longer likes Godzilla. She seems to think now that monster movies are a little silly. While she said she might still watch an occasional episode of Scooby-Doo with me, her tastes have dramatically changed and seem to have solidified in a more "mature" direction. She wants her room to be redone in pink, and she wants to replace her monster toys with Barbies, princesses and ponies (she has generously offered the monster toys to me). I suppose that this has been a slow evolution that simply came to a head today, but it just kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. My little girl was no longer a Monster Kid. It may have been inevitable (and I certainly won't try to force her back to her old interests or hold her back from her new ones), but it still makes me a bit sad.

I guess I should embrace the individual that my daughter has become, and I will do just that of course. I still love her every bit as much as I did yesterday. She'll always be my Little Monster in my heart.

Taking a cue from my daughter, I've decided that it's also time to retire Monster Dad. The whole premise of the blog was to talk about my daughter and I sharing a love for monsters and aliens. I still love all that stuff (and probably always will), but she has moved on. Perhaps I should do the same. I still plan on blogging. It has been a fun experience and I still feel that I have a lot to write about (whether anyone wants to read about it or not). I think I'll simply stop writing as Monster Dad and start a new blog with a fresh name and premise. Just as Spring is bringing new life to the world outside (aside from today's snowstorm), I'm going to try to have a bright outlook as I start on my new path. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out what direction I want to go in and start writing the new blog very soon. I will make one final post on Monster Dad to let anyone interested know where to find the "new me". Cross your fingers. A whole new adventure begins...

Oh, and by the way, did you happen to notice what today's date is? It's April First.

APRIL FOOLS!

Seeing the Past in the Future (Hello Kitty vs. Bigfoot)

This morning The Little Monster did something that reminded me a LOT of myself as a kid. While she has watched a fair amount of scary and semi-scary stuff over the past few years, it's always amazing just what the imagination of a young child will decide is scary.

The Monster was in the living room watching her "Hello Kitty Becomes a Princess" DVD. Yes, I do allow her to watch non-monster based programming. To say that this particular DVD is not scary would be an understatement. Nonetheless, she came out to the kitchen to bother her little sister--who was trying to eat breakfast. When I asked her why she wasn't watching her show she said that it was a scary part that she didn't want to see. Not only did this thought seem hilarious--that something in the Hello Kitty DVD (which she's watched dozens of times) would scare her enough to walk out of the room--it also reminded me of something from my Monster Kid past.

As a kid I loved (and frequently feared) the show "In Search of...". This was the syndicated half-hour show hosted by Leonard Nimoy which explored many mysterious and supernatural phenomena around the world. Some of the topics that I best remember include the episodes that covered stuff like Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, ghosts, UFOs, and the like. As a kid these shows could be VERY scary. The fact that they were seriously investigating such strange occurrences and treated the subjects as real made them seem all the more "real"--and subsequently, scary. The re-enactments were probably the scariest parts of all.

As a kid, I was very interested in Bigfoot, The Abominable Snowman, Sasquatch, Yeti, and all the other names for the big, hairy monsters that might have lurked in the forests and mountains of the world. The fact that there might be real monsters out there similar to the stuff I'd see in monster movies on TV was just too interesting to ignore. It was always a special treat when "In Search of..." would focus on one of these legendary beasts. I remember one night when a Bigfoot-related episode was on. I wanted to watch it, but at one point they had one of those monster-point-of-view recreations of a Bigfoot incident that seemed way to real to me. Much as The Little Monster's imagination made something scary out of something as innocent and kid-friendly as Hello Kitty, my imagination made this Bigfoot encounter much more than a simple re-enactment. I left the living room and went downstairs to my sister's room. Ostensibly I was going down to tell her that there was something really cool on TV that she should see. In reality, I was escaping from the certain-to-induce-intense-nightmares scene that was unfolding on the screen.

It was a very similar event to what would happen to my Little Monster this morning, except that she was big enough to admit that she didn't want to watch her scary scene because it was scary. I had to try to disguise my fear behind a mask of false concern that my sister (who wouldn't have been interested anyway) would miss something cool--while I was purposely missing it in order to inform her about it. Aah, the inner workings of the mind of a child...

Here's one of the "In Search of..." episodes that featured Bigfoot

I'm not sure if this is the exact one that I referred to above, but it's a good example.

Sleep Tight!

Baby Names: Part 2

Some of my nicknames for my two daughters were chronicled in the blog Explanation of the Unexplained. It seems like a good time for an update.

The first daughter is now almost five-years-old. Her nicknames are still evolving, based on many factors (things she says, things she does, certain traits I see in her...), but for the most part her main nicknames are still based on the word Monster. It was one of her first nicknames and the word still seems to fit her perfectly (see photo).

The newer edition is now a little over a year old. Her nicknames are still very much evolving. She does still share variations on the the name Monster (The Monster, Little Monster, Cuteness Monster, Precious Monster, Mini-Monster, Micro-Monster...), but she's really started to get her own identity--nickname-wise. As detailed in the last blog on the topic, one of her monickers is Insane Beast. Beast is still the base of many of her personal nicknames, mainly because she STILL is constantly pushing the envelope when it comes to mischief and getting into trouble. She still only seems to be interested in things she shouldn't be interested in (breakable, small, pointy and otherwise dangerous objects for a one-year-old). Her walking has continued to improve, and her height and reach are constantly expanding. This has lead to more climbing of things that are too high and more reaching of objects that were previously safely out of her reach.

All of this had lead to a new name that has been added to the Monster and Beast canon for the little one. She is now frequently referred to as a Creature. Some new variations include the combinations Beastly Creature and Creature Beast (pretty imaginative, huh?). She is also called Destructive Creature, a Creature of Mass Disruption and (of course) a Creature of Mass Destruction. Seeing as I am Monster Dad, it may not come as too much of a surprise to learn that she has also earned a few names that come from old monster movies. Some movies that share a name with my daughter include "Creature of Destruction" (1967), "The She-Creature" (1956), "The Beast with Five Fingers" (1946) and "She Beast" (1966).

Speaking of monster movies, I have also given the two girls a single, collective name to refer to both of them at the same time. This one should ring a bell with anyone who was around the New England area in the mid-1970s to the mid-1980s. Their new collective name is... Creature Double Feature!

And, finally, just to prove that all my nicknames for the girls don't have a negative-sounding connotation, another name I've recently bestowed upon both of them when they do something particularly cute (which is often) is Cuticle--as in "Cute-icle". Another newish one is Mini-Kins. Take that all you negative-nillies out there!